


Inanimate Flirting

by orphan_account



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: AU, Book Demon!Tad, Comedy, Dipper thought it was Bill at first, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-29 04:20:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10846341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Finding a mysterious journal on his desk, Dipper has a sneaking suspicion on who could be possessing it.





	Inanimate Flirting

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because of all those Bill possessing inanimate objects just to flirt with Dipper. I pitched this idea in the Billdip Discord server.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this.

Sitting at his desk, Dipper eyed the journal that was innocently sitting at his desk. Taunting him almost, practically begging for him to open it.

He remembered how a month ago a demon possessed his cellphone, flirting with him through either texts or random phone calls. Then that very same demon possessed a magic conch shell, only giving flirtatious answers to his questions.

Now sits a journal, one that appeared on his desk from seemingly nowhere. 

Narrowing his eyes, the teen finally caved and opened the book. "I swear if this thing is possessed," he grumbled until words began to appear on the pages.

"I am most definitely possessed, possessed by the most handsome human ever," the words said.

"God damn it Bill, quit possessing household objects! I already know it's you!" The teen shouted, stopping when he heard footsteps run up the stairs.

Slamming the door open with a wide grin showing razor sharp teeth, golden eyes that matched his hair and donning a black suit with yellow accents; Bill Cipher began to strut over to the young mortal. "You called?" He asked.

Looking between the book and demon, Dipper blinked before sighing with relief. "Oh thank god, I thought you were possessing this book to flirt again."

"Flirt?" Bill started to ask before reading the pages on the book. His eyes then narrowed with anger as his blue fire appeared in his hands. "Oh hell no," he snarled, ready to grab the book.

Jumping out of the way, Dipper noticed Mabel standing in the doorway. "Mabel! Catch!" He shouted, throwing the book past the pissed off demon.

Catching the journal, Mabel gave a look of confusion as she opened the book. "So Bill isn't possessing this one?" She asked.

"No, my name is Tad. I thought your brother was handsome, but it seems I have been gifted enough to be in the presence of an actual angel," the book said, causing Mabel to flush before grinning.

"Hah! Seems the book likes me more!" Mabel shouted.

Extinguishing the fire, Bill leaned up against Dipper. "As long as it doesn't flirt with Pine Tree then I don't give a fuck."

Trying to shove the demon off of him, Dipper grumbled with annoyance before letting out a sigh of defeat. He knew Bill wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, so he might as well get used to the demon invading his personal space until Ford came back.

Speaking of which...

"Kids! We're home!" Ford shouted from the living room.

"And that's my cue to leave! Later," Bill exclaimed, planting a large smooch on Dipper's cheek before vanishing, cackling all the way.

Wiping his cheek with annoyance, Dipper sat on his bed. He then looked at Mabel who seemed to be giggling at her new book. "Hope that book doesn't turn into a nuisance."

"Nah, Tad is actually a gentleman. It's really nice," Mabel said before laughing at something else Tad said. "It's nice that I get to have my own supernatural boyfriend that isn't a bunch of gnomes," she admitted.

"What about Mermando?" Dipper asked.

"He was sweet, but after all these years I don't think it would have worked out anyway. Plus I hear his wife is actually good to him, which I'm really grateful for," Mabel said.

Nodding, Dipper went and started examining the book. "Hey, maybe we can get Ford to help Tad leave this book," he offered.

"Good idea! Grunkle Ford!" Mabel shouted, turning and running down the stairs.

Smiling, Dipper sat on his bed. "Well, this was really unexpected," he admitted, laying down.


End file.
